Doctor Who (2005) Transcripts

DOCTOR
Deadly to humans, maybe. 

[He plunges it into the chest of the Slitheen. Both Joseph and the Slitheen howl in pain]

***

OPENING CREDITS

CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON
BILLIE PIPER

WORLD WAR THREE
by Russell T Davies

***

[Margaret, also covered in the electricity, drops Indra's body from the wall]

***

        [In the kitchen, the Slitheen who was attacking Jackie is also suffering]

***

        [The Doctor dashes to the door of the room, past the bodies]

***

[Rose grabs Harriet's hand and they run from the room, Harriet whimpering slightly, Rose just looking terrified]

***

[Jackie is still crouched on the floor in horror, watching the alien screeching in pain. Mickey appears in the doorway]

MICKEY
Jackie!

 [He whacks the Slitheen over the head with a chair, grabs Jackie's arms and pulls her out of the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway to take his phone out of his pocket and snap a picture of the Slitheen. He grins, and then runs to join Jackie, terrified]

***

        [The Doctor finds security all gathered in the hallway]

DOCTOR
Oi! You want aliens - you've got them. They're inside Downing Street. 

        [He claps his hands]

DOCTOR
Come on!

[He leads them off to the meeting room, their guns raised. Inside, Joseph finally manages to deactivate the weapon, and the electricity disappears. He picks up the skin suit of General Asquith]

SLITHEEN
Reinstate my disguise! Hurry up! Hurry! Hurry!

        [Joseph hastens to help the Slitheen into the skin suit]

***

        [Rose and Jackie are still running around the corridors of Downing Street]

HARRIET
No, wait!

        [They stop]

HARRIET
They're still in there! The emergency protocols! We need them!

[She runs back in the direction of the cabinet room. Rose follows her, but they are quickly forced to change direction as Margaret Slitheen comes their way. She chases them. They run across a hallway, Rose closing the door behind them. Margaret simply leaps through it. Rose and Harriet arrive back in another room, shutting the door behind them]

***

[The Doctor leads security into the meeting room, where Joseph is making the finishing touches to Asquith's skin suit. They both stop when they see the Doctor and security standing there]

JOSEPH
Where've you been?

        [Security start checking the bodies for any sign of life]

JOSEPH
I called for help, I sounded the alarm. There was this... lightening! This kind of er... um... electricity, and they all collapsed!

POLICEMAN
I think they're all dead. 

JOSEPH
That's what I'm saying. He did it!

        [He points at the Doctor]

JOSEPH
That man there!

DOCTOR
I think you will find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise. 

[Joseph folds his arms skeptically. The Doctor looks at the security man next to him]

DOCTOR
That's never going to work, is it? 

POLICEMAN
Nope. 

DOCTOR
Fair enough. 

[He makes a run for it. They are hot on his tail, and he soon finds himself surrounded. He puts his hands in the air, grinning]

ASQUITH
Under the jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols, I authorize you to execute this man!

        [Security ready their guns]

DOCTOR
Uh, well, now, yes. You see, eh... the thing is... if I was you, if I was going to execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, little word of advice...

        [The lift pings open behind him]

DOCTOR
Don't stand them against the lift!

        [He steps backwards into it and closes the door with his sonic screwdriver]

***

[Margaret Slitheen is still chasing Rose and Harriet. Rose knees a locked door. The lift pings open, revealing the Doctor. Margaret roars at him, and he smiles and nods around at them all]

DOCTOR [pleasantly]
Hello!

[The doors shut again, distracting Margaret long enough for Rose and Harriet to slip away un-noticed. They find themselves in a room where all the doors are locked - a dead end]

ROSE
Hide!

        [They both hide themselves extremely poorly]

***

        [The lift pings and the Doctor steps out on the second floor]

***

[Asquith and security are still standing next to the lift they backed the Doctor against]

ASQUITH
I repeat, the upper floors are under quarantine. You will stay where you are. You will disregard all previous instructions. You will take your orders directly from me. 

        [The lift pings at the basement floor. Joseph and Asquith step into it]

SERGEANT
Mr. Green sir - I'm sorry but you've got to come with me. We should evacuate the entire building.  

JOSEPH
Sergeant - have you uh - read the Emergency Protocols? 

SERGEANT
No, sir.

JOSEPH
Then don't question me. 

        [He steps back into the lift]

JOSEPH
Seal off number 10 - secure the ground floor - and if the Doctor makes it downstairs - shoot on site!

        [He shuts the doors. The sergeant turns to face the others]

SERGEANT
Well, you heard him! Move out!

        [They do so. The sergeant follows them]

***

        [Joseph and Asquith are inside the lift]

ASQUITH
Let the sport begin. 

        [Joseph farts]

JOSEPH
I'm getting poisoned by the gas exchange. I need to be naked!

ASQUITH
Rejoice in it! Your body is... magnificent. 

        [They both undo the zips on their foreheads]

***

        [Margaret Slitheen enters the room where Rose and Harriet are hiding]

MARGARET [playfully]
Oh, such fun! Little human children... where are you? Sweet little humankins... come to me... let me kiss you better...

        [Rose bolts from her hiding place behind a cabinet behind a curtain instead]

MARGARET
... kiss you with my big, green lips. 

        [Margaret hisses]

***

[The Doctor runs down a flight of stairs, hearing the Sergeant barking orders in the distance. Then he hears the lift ping, and hastily backtracks and hides in a crevice next to the door. The two Slitheen walk past]

SLITHEEN
We'll keep this floor quarantined as our last hunting ground before the final phase. 

        [The Doctor waits until they are out of sight]

***

[The two Slitheen, Joseph and Asquith join Margaret in the room where Rose and Harriet are hiding]

MARGARET
My brothers. 

JOSEPH
Happy hunting? 

MARGARET
It's wonderful. The more you prolong it, the more they stink. 

ASQUITH
Sweat... and fear. 

        [Harriet's mouth drops open with horror]

JOSEPH
I can smell an old girl... stale bird... brittle bones. 

MARGARET
And a ripe youngster. All hormones and adrenaline. Fresh enough to bend before she snaps. 

[Margaret sweeps the curtain aside revealing Rose, who screams. Harriet jumps out from her hiding place]

HARRIET
No! Take me first! Take me!

        [The Doctor crashes in and blasts a fire extinguisher in the Slitheen's faces] 

DOCTOR
Out! With me!

[Rose pulls the curtains down over Margaret's head and then both she and Margaret run to stand behind the Doctor. The Doctor looks at Harriet]

DOCTOR
Who the hell are you?

HARRIET
Harriet Jones - MP for Flydale North. 

DOCTOR
Nice to meet you. 

HARRIET
Likewise. 

        [The Doctor blasts the fire extinguisher again. Then they run for it]

DOCTOR
We need to get to the cabinet rooms! 

HARRIET
The Emergency Protocols are in there! They give instructions on aliens! 

DOCTOR
Harriet Jones - I like you.

HARRIET
And I like you too. 

[They run. The Doctor bypasses a locked door with his sonic screwdriver and the Slitheen pursue them all the way back to the cabinet room. They have no time to close the door, so instead the Doctor picks up a bottle of brandy and hold his sonic screwdriver to it] 

DOCTOR
One more move and my sonic device will triplicate the flammability of this alcohol. Whoof! We all go up. So back off. 

        [The Slitheen hesitate]

DOCTOR
Right then. Question time. Who exactly are the Slitheen?

HARRIET
They're aliens. 

DOCTOR
Yes. I got that, thanks. 

JOSEPH
Who are you, if not human? 

HARRIET
Who's not human?

ROSE
He's not human. 

HARRIET
He's not human?

DOCTOR
Can I have a bit of hush?

HARRIET
Sorry. 

DOCTOR
So - what's the plan?

HARRIET
But he's got a Northern accent. 

ROSE
Lots of planets have a North. 

DOCTOR
I said hush. Come on! 

        [He holds the brandy threateningly out in front of him]

DOCTOR
You've got a spaceship hidden in the North Sea. It's transmitting a signal. You've murdered your way to the top of government - what for? Invasion?

ASQUITH
Why would we invade this God forsaken rock? 

DOCTOR
Then something's brought the Slitheen race here - what is it? 

ASQUITH
'The Slitheen race'?

JOSEPH
Slitheen is not our species. Slitheen is our surname. Jocrassa Fel Fotch Pasameer Day Slitheen at your service. 

DOCTOR
So, you're family. 

JOSEPH
It's a family business. 

DOCTOR
Then you're out to make a profit. How can you do that on a 'God forsaken rock'? 

ASQUITH
Ahhh... excuse me? Your device will do what? Triplicate the flammability...?

DOCTOR
Is that what I said? 

ASQUITH
You're making it up!

DOCTOR
Ah, well! Nice try. Harriet, have a drink. I think you're gonna need it. 

        [He passes her the brandy]

HARRIET
Pass it to the left first. 

DOCTOR
Sorry. 

        [He hands it to Rose instead]

ROSE
Thanks. 

ASQUITH
Now we can end this hunt... with a slaughter. 

        [He flexes his claws menacingly. The Doctor fold his arms]

ROSE
Don't you think we should run? 

        [The Slitheen shuffle forward]

DOCTOR
Fascinating history, Downing Street. Two thousand years ago, this was marsh land. 1730, it was occupied by a Mr. Chicken. He was a nice man. 1796, this was the cabinet room - if the cabinet's in session and in danger, these are about the four most safest walls in the whole of Great Britain. 

        [He presses a switch near the door]

DOCTOR
End of lesson. 

[Every entrance to the room is immediately blocked by metal shutters. The Doctor turns to Rose and Harriet]

DOCTOR
Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in.

ROSE
And how do we get out? 

        [The Doctor's self satisfied does not disappear from his face]

DOCTOR [after a pause]
Ah. 

        [The Slitheen are still outside]

JOSEPH
He is safely contained. Now, cut off communications inside that room, then summon the family, it's time we finished with this insane planet for good!

        [They make to leave]

***

[Jackie and Mickey emerge from a side door to the block of flats. They run stealthily across the yard to avoid detection from the policeman who still surround the building. They go unnoticed]

***

REPORTER
And there's still no word from inside Downing Street, though we are getting even more new arrivals. 

        [He looks around as another fat man gets out of a car outside Downing Street]

REPORTER
That's group Captain Tennant James of the RAF - though why he's been summoned, I've no idea. 

        [Another man emerges from a car]

REPORTER
And that's ah... Ewan McAllister. Deputy Secretary for the Scottish Parliament. And this is most unusual! 

        [A fat woman makes her way to 10 Downing Street]

REPORTER
I'm told that is Sylvia Dillane - chairman of the North Sea Boating Club. Quite what connects these people, we have no idea. 

***

 [Inside Downing Street, Margaret comes down the stairs and greats Tennant James]

MARGARET
Group Captain - delighted you could make it. We're meeting upstairs. 

        [He farts]

MARGARET
That's the spirit. Off you go.

        [Ewan McAllister stands in front of her - she shakes his hand]

MARGARET
Good to see you!

        [She nods pleasantly at Sylvia]

MARGARET
Come on through!

        [Asquith stops the Sergeant as he goes past]

ASQUITH
Ah! Sergeant - now that the Doctor's been neutralized, the upper levels are out of bounds - to everyone.

SERGEANT
Then who are they?

        [He nods towards the three newcomers who are now going up the stairs] 

ASQUITH
Ahh, Sergeant. I want you to liaise with communications - the acting Prime Minister will be making a public address. He will speak to the nations of the world. 

        [He walks off, leaving the Sergeant looking bewildered and confused] 

***

        [Margaret is showing her family into a room]

MARGARET
There you are - if you'd just like to go through and get changed.

[She ushers Sylvia into the room and grabs a coat hanger on her way to the other door. She takes a skin suit from an emerging Slitheen]

MARGARET
Now, if you'd like to head down to the end corridor, it's first on the left. 

SLITHEEN
Thank you. 

        [Margaret hangs the skin suit up]

***

        [Jackie and Mickey are in Mickey's kitchen. Mickey is holding a kettle]

JACKIE
Have you got anything stronger? 

MICKEY
No chance, I've seen you when you've had a few - this ain't time for a conga. 

        [Jackie sits down]

JACKIE
We've gotta tell someone. 

MICKEY
Who do we trust? For all we know, they've all got big bog monsters inside of them. I mean, this is what he does, Jacks.

        [He brandishes a couple of mugs at her in his enthusiasm] 

MICKEY
Everywhere he goes - death and destruction, and he's got Rose in the middle of it. 

JACKIE
Has he got a great big green thing inside him, then? 

MICKEY
I wouldn't put it past him. 

        [He gets a bottle of milk out of the fridge]

MICKEY
But like it or not, he's the only person who knows how to fight these things. 

JACKIE
I thought I was gonna die. 

        [She bursts into tears. Mickey gives her a quick hug]

MICKEY
Come on, yeah? If anyone's gonna cry, it's gonna be me. Now, you're safe in my flat, Jacks - no one's gonna look for you here, especially since you hate me so much.

JACKIE
You saved my life. God, that's embarrassing. 

MICKEY
You're telling me. 

        [They laugh slightly]

JACKIE
He wanted me dead. And he's still out there, Mickey...

        [She gets to her feet]

JACKIE
That policeman... that thing...

***

[Outside, the Slitheen policeman sniffs the air. He turns to another policeman behind him]

POLICEMAN
Right - you head off. You're in full control, I've got one or two things that still need doing. I haven't quite finished with Mrs. Tyler yet...

        [The other police officers nod and get in the car]

***

        [Joseph goes up to Margaret who is adjusting the skin suit on the hangers]

JOSEPH
Is that all of us?

MARGARET
All the family except Sit Fel Fotch. He's found a hunt of his own. 

JOSEPH
Ah!

        [They smile and he walks off]

***

        [Inside the cabinet room, the Doctor drags Indra's body into a cupboard]

DOCTOR
What was his name? 

HARRIET
Which one?

DOCTOR
This one - the secretary or whatever he was called. 

        [Harriet goes to look]

HARRIET
I don't know. I talked to him. I brought him a cup of coffee. I never asked his name. 

        [The Doctor crosses Indra's hands over his body]

DOCTOR
Sorry. 

        [He strides into the room]

DOCTOR
Right, what have we got? Any terminals? Anything?

ROSE
No. The place is antique. What I don't get, is when they killed the Prime Minister, why didn't they use him as a disguise? 

DOCTOR
He's too slim - they're big old beasts, they need to fit inside big humans. 

ROSE
But the Slitheen are about 8 feet, how do they squeeze inside?

DOCTOR
That's the device around their necks - compression field - literally shrinks them down a bit. That's why there's all that gas, it's a big exchange. 

ROSE
Wish I had a compression field, I could fit a size smaller. 

HARRIET
Excuse me, people are dead, this is not the time for making jokes. 

ROSE
Sorry... you get used to this stuff when you're friends with him. 

[She indicates the Doctor, who is busy scanning the walls with his sonic screwdriver] 

HARRIET
Well, that's a strange friendship. 

DOCTOR
Harriet Jones - I've heard that name before - Harriet Jones. You're not famous for anything, are you?

HARRIET
Huh! Hardly. 

DOCTOR
Rings a bell, Harriet Jones...

        [He looks as though he is struggling to remember something]

HARRIET
Lifelong back bencher I'm afraid, and a fat lot of use I'm being now - the protocols are redundant, they list the people who can help and they're all dead downstairs.

ROSE
Hasn't it got like, defense codes and things? Can we just launch a nuclear bomb at 'em? 

        [Harriet stares at her]

HARRIET
You're a very violent young woman...

ROSE
I'm serious! We could!

HARRIET
Well, there's nothing like that in here. Nuclear strikes do need a release code, yes, but it's kept secret by the United Nations. 

        [The Doctor stops scanning the mantelpiece with his sonic screwdriver to listen]

DOCTOR
Say that again. 

HARRIET
What, about the codes? 

DOCTOR
Anything. All of it. 

HARRIET
Um, well... the British Isles can't gain access to atomic weapons without a special resolution from the UN. 

ROSE
Like that's every stopped them.

HARRIET
Exactly, given our past record - and I voted against that, thank you very much. The codes have been taken out of the governments hands and given to the UN. 

        [The Doctor is deep in thought] 

HARRIET
Is it important?

DOCTOR
Everything's important. 

HARRIET
If we only knew what the Slitheen wanted. Listen to me, I'm saying 'Slitheen' as if it's normal. 

ROSE
What do they want, though? 

DOCTOR
Well, it's just one family so it's not an invasion. They don't want Slitheen world... they're out to make money, which means they want to use something, something here on Earth... some kind of asset. 

HARRIET
Like what? Gold? Oil? Water?

DOCTOR
You're very good at this. 

HARRIET [looking pleased]
Thank you. 

DOCTOR
Harriet Jones - why do I know that name?

        [Rose's phone goes off]

ROSE
Oh! That's me. 

        [She takes her phone out of her pocket]

HARRIET
But we're sealed off - how did you get a signal? 

ROSE
He zapped it! Super-phone. 

HARRIET [to the Doctor]
Then we can phone for help! You must have contacts. 

DOCTOR
Dead downstairs, yeah. 

ROSE
It's Mickey. 

DOCTOR
Oh, tell your stupid boyfriend we're busy. 

ROSE
Yeah, he's not so stupid after all.

[She hands the Doctor her phone. Mickey has sent her the photo of the Slitheen in Jackie's kitchen]

***

[Mickey and Jackie enter Mickey's bedroom, Mickey checking around the door first. He is on the phone to Rose]

MICKEY
No, no, no, no, no - not just alien, but like, proper alien. All stinking, and wet, and disgusting. And more to the point, it wanted to kill us!

JACKIE
I could've died!

        [Mickey gestures violently at Jackie]

ROSE
Is she alright, though? Don't put her on, just tell me. 

        [The Doctor snatches the phone from her]

DOCTOR
Is that Rickey? Don't talk, just shut up and go to your computer.

MICKEY
It's Mickey. And why should I?

DOCTOR
Mickey the Idiot - I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but eh - I need you. 

        [Rose smiles]

***

        [Mickey is on the UNIT website]

MICKEY
It says password. 

        [The Doctor is putting the mobile on speakerphone]

DOCTOR
Say again.

MICKEY
It's asking for the password. 

DOCTOR
Buffalo - two Fs, one L. 

        [Jackie puts down two cups of tea on the computer desk]

JACKIE
So, what's that website? 

        [Mickey finishes typing in the password and turns to her as the page loads]

MICKEY
All the secret information known to mankind. See, they've known about aliens for years, they just kept us in the dark. 

DOCTOR
Mickey, you were born in the dark.

ROSE
Oh, leave him alone. 

MICKEY
Thank you. Password again. 

DOCTOR
Just repeat it, every time. 

        [Mickey hands Jackie the phone as he types it in again]

DOCTOR
Big Ben - why did the Slitheen hit Big Ben?

HARRIET
You said to gather the experts - to kill them. 

DOCTOR
That lot would've gathered for a weather balloon, you don't need to crash land in the middle of London. 

ROSE
The Slitheen were hiding - and then they put the entire planet on red alert, what would they do that for?

JACKIE
Oh, listen to her.

ROSE
At least I'm trying! 

JACKIE
Well, I've got a question if you don't mind. Because since that man walked into our lives, I have been attacked in the streets. I have had creatures from the pits of hell in my own living room, and my daughter's disappeared off the face of the Earth. 

ROSE
I told you what happened.

JACKIE
I'm talking to him. 'Cause I've seen this life of yours, Doctor. And maybe you get off on it. And maybe you think it's all clever and smart, but you tell me. Just answer me this - is my daughter safe? 

        [Mickey looks around at her. The Doctor stares intently at the phone]

ROSE
I'm fine. 

JACKIE
Is she safe? Will she always be safe? Can you promise me that? 

        [The Doctor glances up at Rose, who looks back at him. They stare at each other]

JACKIE
Well, what's the answer? 

        [Mickey grabs the phone off Jackie, breaking the moment]

MICKEY
We're in. 

        [Let off the hook, the Doctor rushes around the table]

DOCTOR
Right then - on the left, there's a tab - an icon - little concentric circles - click on that. 

        [Mickey does so]

MICKEY
What is it?

DOCTOR
The Slitheen have got a spaceship in the North Sea and it's transmitting that signal, now hush, let me work out what it's saying. 

JACKIE
He'll have to answer me one day.

MICKEY [gesturing violently]
Hush!

DOCTOR
It's some sort of message.

ROSE
What's it say?

DOCTOR
Don't know - it's on a loop, keeps repeating. 

        [Mickey's doorbell rings]

DOCTOR
Hush!

MICKEY
That's not me. 

        [To Jackie]

MICKEY
Go and see who that is. 

JACKIE
It's three o'clock in the morning. 

MICKEY
Well go and tell them that. 

        [Jackie gives him a look as she gets up. Mickey shakes his head]

DOCTOR
It's beaming out into space, who's it for? 

        [The doorbell rings more persistently]

JACKIE
Alright!

        [She opens the door to reveal the policeman]

POLICEMAN
Mrs. Tyler. 

        [Jackie slams it shut again and runs back to Mickey's room squealing]

JACKIE
It's him! It's the thing, it's the Slickeen! 

MICKEY
They've found us. 

DOCTOR
Mickey, I need that signal. 

ROSE
Never mind the signal, mum just get out! Get out! Get out!

        [Mickey picks up a cricket bat]

MICKEY
We can't, it's by the front door. 

[Outside the front door, the Slitheen takes his body suit off. Jackie and Mickey see the blue light shining beneath the cracks around the door]

MICKEY
Oh, my God. It's unmasking. It's gonna kill us. 

HARRIET
There's got to be some way of stopping them!

        [To the Doctor]

HARRIET
You're supposed to be the expert, think of something!

DOCTOR
I'm trying!

        [Outside Mickey's flat, the Slitheen makes worrying noises]

MICKEY
I'll take it on, Jackie. You just run. Don't look back. Just run. 

[He squares himself in front of the door. Down the phone, they hear the Slitheen smashing the door in]

ROSE
That's my mother. 

DOCTOR
Right! If we're going to find their weakness, we need to find out where they're from - which planet. So, judging by their face and shape, that narrows it down to five thousand planets within traveling distance. What else do we know about them? Information!

ROSE
They're green. 

DOCTOR
Yep, narrows it down. 

ROSE
Uh, good sense of smell.

DOCTOR
Narrows it down.

ROSE
They can smell adrenaline. 

DOCTOR
Narrows it down. 

HARRIET
The compression technology. 

DOCTOR
Narrows it down.

ROSE
The spaceship in the Thames - you said slipstream engine? 

DOCTOR
Narrows it down. 

        [The Slitheen punches a hole through the door]

MICKEY
It's getting in!

ROSE
Oh! They hunt like it's a ritual. 

DOCTOR
Narrows it down.

HARRIET
Wait a minute! Did you notice, when they fart - if you'll pardon the word - it doesn't just smell like a fart - if you'll pardon the word - it's something else, what is it, it's more like uh... um...

ROSE
Bad breath!

HARRIET
That's it!

DOCTOR
Calcium decay! Now that narrows it down!

ROSE
We're getting there, mum!

MICKEY
Too late!

        [The Slitheen is still having some trouble getting in the door]

DOCTOR
Calcium phosphate, organic calcium, living calcium, creatures made out of living calcium, what else, what else - hyphenated sodium - yes! That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacorricofallapatorius!

MICKEY
Oh, yeah, great. We could write 'em a letter.

        [The Slitheen kicks half the door down and begins to step through it]

DOCTOR
Get into the kitchen!

[Jackie and Mickey back into the kitchen and slam the door, trying to bar it shut with a chair and a dustbin as the Slitheen throws its weight against it]

JACKIE
My God, it's going to rip us apart!

DOCTOR
Calcium, recombined with compression field - ascetic acid. Vinegar!

HARRIET
Just like Hannibal!  

DOCTOR
Just like Hannibal. Mickey, have you got any vinegar?

MICKEY
How should I know? 

DOCTOR
It's your kitchen. 

ROSE
Cupboard by the sink, middle shelf. 

        [Jackie snatches the phone from Mickey]

JACKIE
Give it here, what do you need?

DOCTOR
Anything with vinegar!

        [Jackie grabs a jug and opens the cupboard]

JACKIE
Gherkins! 

        [The Slitheen is poking holes in the door with its claws]

JACKIE
Yeah! Pickled onions! 

        [She adds them to the jug. Mickey has the bat raised ready]

JACKIE
Picked eggs!

DOCTOR [to Rose]
You kiss this man?

[The Slitheen finally kicks down the door and enters the kitchen. Jackie and Mickey back against the counter. Jackie chucks the vinegar all over it. There is a few seconds silence and then it explodes, splattering the whole room, Jackie and Mickey with green goo. Having heard, the Doctor, Rose and Harriet all breath a sigh of relief. Mickey lowers his bat]

ROSE
Hannibal? 

HARRIET
Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar. 

ROSE
Oh. Well, there you go then. 

        [They raise their glasses in toast, and drink]

ROSE
Phew!

***

        [Downstairs, Asquith approaches Joseph]

ASQUITH
He's dead. Sip Fel Fotch Pasameer- Day Slitheen is dead. 

JOSEPH
I felt it. How could that happen? 

ASQUITH
Somebody must've got lucky. 

JOSEPH
That's the last piece of luck anyone on this rock will ever have. 

[They both walk out of the doors of 10 Downing Street, to address the crowd outside. He faces the camera]

JOSEPH
Ladies and Gentlemen - Nations of the World - Human Kind. The greatest experts in extra-terrestrial events came here tonight. They gathered in the common cause. But the news I bring you now is grave indeed. 

 [Mickey, wiping the goo off himself with a towel, comes into the living room to watch Joseph on the TV]

JOSEPH
The experts are dead. Murdered - right in front of me by alien hands. Peoples of the Earth, heed my words. These visitors do not come in peace.

        [Mickey takes the phone off Jackie]

MICKEY
Listen to this. 

        [He holds the phone to the TV]

JOSEPH
Our inspectors have searched the sky above our heads and they have found massive weapons of destruction, capable of being deployed within 45 seconds.

        [The Doctor, Rose and Harriet are crowded around the phone, listening to him]

DOCTOR
What?

JOSEPH
Our technicians can - baffle - the alien probes. But not for long. We are facing extinction. Unless we strike first. The United Kingdom stands directly beneath the belly of the mother ship. I beg the United Nations - pass an emergency resolution. Give us the access codes! A nuclear strike at the heart of the ship is our only chance of survival. Because... from this moment on... it is my solemn duty to inform you... planet Earth is at war.

DOCTOR
He's making it up. There's no weapons up there, there's no threat. He just invented it.

HARRIET
Do you think they'll believe him?

ROSE
They did last time. 

DOCTOR
That's why the Slitheen went for spectacle. They want the whole world panicking, because you lot - you get scared, you lash out. 

ROSE
They release the defense codes...

DOCTOR
And the Slitheen go nuclear. 

HARRIET
But why? 

[The Doctor opens the metal shutters. The Slitheen are still standing outside the door]

DOCTOR
You get the codes, release the missiles. But not into space because there's nothing there. You attack every other country on Earth, they retaliate, fight back. World War Three - whole planet gets nuked. 

        [Margaret Slitheen, still in her skin suit, stands before the Doctor]

MARGARET
And we can sit through it in our spaceship waiting in the Thames. Not crashed. Just parked. They'll be two minutes away. 

HARRIET
But you'll destroy the planet, this beautiful place. What for?

DOCTOR
Profit. That's what the signal is beaming into space - an advert. 

MARGARET
Sale of the century. We reduce the Earth to molten slag, then sell it. Piece by piece. Radioactive chucks capable of powering every cut-price star liner and budget cargo ship. There's a recession out there, Doctor. People are buying cheap. This rock becomes raw fuel. 

DOCTOR
At the cost of 5 billion lives.

MARGARET
Bargain. 

DOCTOR
Then I give you the choice - leave this planet or I'll stop you. 

        [The Slitheen all burst out laughing]

MARGARET
What? You? Trapped in your box? 

        [The Doctor does not look remotely abashed. He stares her out]

DOCTOR
Yes. Me. 

[Margaret starts laughing again. The Doctor fixes her in his gaze and closes the shutters again. The smirk fades from Margaret's face]

***

        [London is almost completely deserted. The reporter is standing on London Bridge]

REPORTER
Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world. Today might see it end. The streets are deserted. Everyone's home - just waiting. As the future is decided in New York. 

***

        [New York newsreader is in the news room]

NEWSREADER
It's midnight here in New York. The United Nations has gathered. England has provided them with absolute proof that the massive weapons of mass destruction do exist. The security counsel will be making a resolution in a matter of minutes. 

[Mickey picks up the phone from the top of the TV]

NEWSREADER
And once the codes are released, humanities first interplanetary war begins. 

        [Jackie is watching the TV biting her nails, scared and anxious]

***

[Inside 10 Downing Street, Margaret and Asquith make to go up the stairs as Joseph pauses at the bottom to talk to the Sergeant]

JOSEPH
Sergeant. We'll take the call in the Prime Minister's office. Maintain the oppositions. Good luck.

[They shake hands. Asquith pats him genially on the shoulder, and the Sergeant resumes his post at the bottom of the stairs]

***

[Margaret, Asquith and Joseph bundle their way into the Prime Minister's office, all insanely excited]

MARGARET
Oh! Look at that! The telephone is actually red. 

[She kisses it with her hand. Joseph sits down behind the desk, farting as he does so]

JOSEPH [excitedly]
How long 'til they phone?!

ASQUITH
Counting down...!

***

        [Jackie is on the phone to the cabinet room again]

JACKIE
Alright, Doctor. I'm not saying I trust you, but there must be something you can do. 

HARRIET
If we ferment the porch, we could make ascetic acid.

ROSE
Mickey, any luck?

MICKEY
There's loads of emergency numbers - they're all on voicemail.

[The Doctor is standing quietly with his arms folded, leaning against the wall away from the other two. He is deep in thought]

HARRIET
Voicemail dooms us all. 

ROSE
If we could just get out of here...

DOCTOR
There's a way out.

ROSE
What?

        [She turns to face him incredulously]

DOCTOR
There's always been a way out. 

ROSE
Then why don't we use it? 

        [The Doctor strides over to the table and leans over to speak into the phone]

DOCTOR
Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe. 

JACKIE
Don't you dare. Whatever it is, don't you dare. 

DOCTOR
That's the thing, if I don't dare, everyone dies. 

ROSE
Do it. 

        [The Doctor looks up at her]

DOCTOR
You don't even know what it is, you'd just let me?

ROSE [simply]
Yeah. 

        [The Doctor stares at her]

JACKIE
Please, Doctor. Please! She's my daughter, she's just a kid! 

DOCTOR
Do you think I don't know that? Because this is my life, Jackie, it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.

ROSE [softly]
Then what're you waiting for? 

        [The Doctor looks up at her again]

DOCTOR
I could save the world but lose you.

[They stare intensely into each others eyes for a long moment until Rose averts her gaze with a shy smile]

HARRIET
Except it's not your decision, Doctor. It's mine.

JACKIE [angrily]
And who the hell are you? 

HARRIET
Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North. The only elected representative in this room, chosen by the people, for the people, and on behalf of the people I command you. Do it. 

        [The Doctor looks back at Rose and grins]

***

        [Joseph, Margaret and Asquith are still waiting for the phone to ring]

JOSEPH
Victory... should be naked!

        [He unzips his forehead. The other two follow suit]

***

        [Rose jumps onto the table]

ROSE
How do we get out?

        [Doctor opens the briefcase containing the emergency protocols]

DOCTOR
We don't. We stay here. 

        [He opens the emergency protocols]

***

        [In New York, the newsreader receives new information through her earpiece]

NEWS READER
The counsel is voting. The results should be known any second now. 

***

        [Inside the Prime Minister's office, the Slitheen finish taking their skin suits off]

***

        [The Doctor shuffles through the protocols and then turns to address Mickey]

DOCTOR
Use the buffalo password, it overrides everything. 

        [Mickey types the password in. Jackie watches him]

JACKIE
What're you doing?

MICKEY
Hacking into the Royal Navy. 

        [He looks as though he can't quite believe what he is saying]

MICKEY
We're in. Here it is, uh...  H.M.S. Taurean, Trafalgar Class Submarine, 10 miles off the coast of Plymouth. 

        [Jackie stands up, worried out of her mind]

DOCTOR
Right, we need to select a missile. 

MICKEY
We can't go nuclear, we don't have the defense codes. 

DOCTOR
We don't need it, all we need is an ordinary missile. What's the first category?

MICKEY
Sub Haffoon, UGMA4A. 

DOCTOR
That's the one. Select. 

        [Jackie walks up behind Mickey]

JACKIE
I could stop you. 

        [Mickey turns to face her]

MICKEY
Do it, then. 

DOCTOR
Ready for this? 

        [Mickey and Jackie stare at each other for a few more seconds]

MICKEY
Yeah. 

        [He looks back at the screen. Jackie sits back down]

DOCTOR
Mickey the Idiot. The world is in your hands. Fire. 

[Breathing heavily, Mickey screws up his eyes and clicks the Fire button. 10 miles off the coast of Plymouth, a missile launches itself out of the sea]

JACKIE
Oh, my God. 

        [Everyone looks stunned]

***

        [On a radar screen, the missile is shown]

***

        [Harriet taps the steel shutters]

HARRIET
How solid are these?

DOCTOR
Not solid enough, built for short range attack, nothing this big. 

ROSE
Alright. Now I'm making the decision. I'm not gonna die, we're gonna ride this one out. 

        [She opens the cupboard door]

ROSE
It's like what they say about earthquakes, you can survive 'em by standing under a doorframe. Now this cupboard's small so it's strong. Come and help me! Come on!

        [Harriet hurries to help her]

***

        [The missile soars over the sea]

***

NEW YORK NEWSREADER
The vote is in. The counsel says... yes. They are releasing the codes. 

***

        [The Slitheen family are now all gathered around the phone]

JOSEPH
Ring, damn you!

***

        [Mickey is still staring at the computer screen]

MICKEY
It's on radar. Counter defense 556. 

DOCTOR
Stop them intercepting it. 

MICKEY
I'm doing it now. 

DOCTOR
Good boy.

        [Mickey taps a few keys]

MICKEY
556 neutralized. 

        [The Doctor rips the mobile off speaker phone] 

***

        [Downstairs, the Sergeant rushes to the computer]

SERGEANT
What do you mean, 'incoming'? 

        [The man points at the screen where the missile shows up on radar]

***

        [The missile soars over London]

***

        [The Sergeant smashes the glass on the fire alarm, which goes off]

SERGEANT
Everybody out! Now! Get out!

        [Everyone runs to the door. The Slitheen family hear the alarm in the office]

JOSEPH
What the hell is that for? 

        [The Sergeant bursts into the room]

SERGEANT
Sir, there's a missile!

        [The Slitheen all look round at him]

SERGEANT
... Sorry. 

        [He runs out again]

***

        [The missile soars past Mickey's flat. Jackie runs out onto the balcony to watch it]

***

        [Two of the female Slitheen are fighting over Margaret's skin suit]

SLITHEEN 1
That's mine!

SLITHEEN 2
No, mine!

        [The others are all struggling to get back inside their skin suits]

***

[A hoard of security guards run out of the door of 10 Downing Street. The Sergeant fires a gun into the air]

SERGEANT
Everybody run!

[Everyone runs. He looks up into the air to see the missile making straight for 10 Downing Street]

***

[Rose, the Doctor and Harriet bundle into the cupboard. The crouch in a corner, Rose and Harriet either side of the Doctor]

HARRIET
Nice knowing you both. 

        [They all hold hands]

HARRIET
Hannibal!

        [They brace themselves]

***

        [The second before the missile hits, the Slitheen all look up]

SLITHEEN
Oh, boll--

[The missile hits. The whole of Downing Street explodes in flames. The Doctor, Rose and Harriet are all severely shaken around in their cupboard. Then it stops. The place is in ruins, smoking. Then, the three of them emerge from the wreckage. Harriet looks around]

HARRIET
Maiden Britain. 

        [The Sergeant hurries over to them]

SERGEANT
Are you alright?

HARRIET [flashing her ID card at him]
Harriet Jones. MP, Flydale North. I want you to contact UN immediately, tell the ambassadors the crisis is over and they can step down. Go on, tell the news!

SERGEANT
Yes, ma'am. 

        [He hurries away again]

HARRIET
Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out. Oh, Lord! We haven't even got a Prime Minister!

DOCTOR
Well, maybe you should have a go. 

HARRIET
Me?

        [She laughs]

HARRIET
I'm only a back-bencher. 

ROSE
I'd vote for ya!

HARRIET
Now, don't be silly. 

        [Rose and the Doctor grin]

HARRIET
Look, I'd better go and see if I can help. 

 [She climbs over the rubble towards the crowd of people. The Doctor beams at Rose]

HARRIET
Hang on! 

        [She shouts over to them]

HARRIET
The Earth is safe! Sergeant!

        [The Doctor and Rose make their way to the road]

DOCTOR
I thought I knew the name. 

        [He watches her hurry over to the cameras and ambulances]

DOCTOR
Harriet Jones - future Prime Minister. Elected for three successive terms - the architect of Britain's Golden Age. 

HARRIET
The crisis has passed! Ladies and Gentlemen - I have something to say to you all!

[Rose and the Doctor watch her fondly from a distance. Then they turn and walk away. Harriet speaks to the camera]

HARRIET
Mankind stands tall - proud - and undefeated. God bless the human race.

        [She beams around at them all]

***

[Rose enters her flat, and is greeted with a huge hug from a relieved Jackie. They both close their eyes, happy to be together again]

***

[The Doctor enters the TARDIS, looking very pleased with himself. He starts the engines and grins up at it]

***

[Rose is sitting on the chair in front of the TV, watching a repeat of Harriet Jones' speech]

HARRIET
Mankind stands tall - proud -

        [Jackie comes in]

JACKIE [contemptuously] 
Harriet Jones. Who does she think she is? Look at her! Taking all the credit. Should be you on there.

        [Addresses the TV]

JACKIE
My daughter saved the world! 

ROSE
I think the Doctor helped a bit...

JACKIE [sitting down]
Oh, alright then. Him too. You should be given knighthoods. 

ROSE
That's not the way he does things. No fuss, he just... moves on. He's not that bad if you gave him a chance. 

JACKIE
He's good in a crisis, I'll give him that.

ROSE
Oh! Now the world has changed, you're saying nice things about him. 

JACKIE
Well, I reckon I've got no choice! There's no getting rid of him since you're infatuated. 

ROSE [unconvincingly]
I'm not infatuated...

JACKIE
What does he eat?

ROSE
How do you mean?

JACKIE
I was gonna do shepherds pie. 

        [Rose sniggers]

JACKIE
All of us. A proper sit down. 'Cause... I'm ready to listen. I wanna learn about you and him and that life you lead. Only, I dunno, he's an alien. For all I know, he eats grass and safety pins and things. 

ROSE
He'll have shepherd pie. You're gonna cook for him?

JACKIE
What's wrong with that?

ROSE
He's finally met his match. 

JACKIE
You're not too old for a slap, you know. 

        [Rose giggles. Jackie gets up and goes to the kitchen]

JACKIE
You can go and visit your gran tomorrow. 

        [Rose's mobile rings]

JACKIE
You'd better learn some French. I told her you were in France. I said you were au-pairing. 

[The display on the screen of Rose's mobile says 'TARDIS calling' complete with a little TARDIS icon. Rose answers]

ROSE
Hello?

DOCTOR
Right, I'll be a couple of hours, then we can go. 

ROSE [incredulously]
You've got a phone?

DOCTOR
You think I can travel through space and time and I haven't got a phone? 

        [he laughs contemptuously] 

DOCTOR
Like I said, couple of hours... I've just got to send out this dispersal.. 

        [He presses a button]

DOCTOR
There you go. That's canceling out the Slitheen's advert in case any bargain hunters turn up. 

ROSE
My mother's cooking.

DOCTOR
Good! Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer. 

ROSE
She's cooking tea. For us. 

DOCTOR
I don't do that.

ROSE
She wants to get to know you.

DOCTOR
Tough! I've got better things to do!

ROSE
It's just tea. 

DOCTOR
Not to me it isn't. 

ROSE
She's my mother.

DOCTOR
Well, she's not mine!

ROSE
That's not fair! 

DOCTOR
Well, you can stay there if you want! 

        [Short pause]

DOCTOR
But right now there's this plasma storm brewing in the horse head nebula. 

        [Rose listens intently]

DOCTOR
Fires are burning 10 million miles wide. I could fly the TARDIS right into the heart of it then ride the shock wave all the way out - hurtle right across the sky and end up anywhere. 

        [He pauses]

DOCTOR
Your choice. 

[He hangs up. Rose ends the call slowly and presses the phone to her lips, deep in thought. The Doctor pauses for a second and then goes back to the console]

***

[Jackie comes back into the living room with two cups of tea]

JACKIE
Rose, I was thinking...

        [Rose's seat is empty, so Jackie walks in the direction of Rose's bedroom instead]

JACKIE
I've got that bottle of Amaretto from New Years Eve, does he drink?

 [She opens the door to Rose's bedroom. Rose is stuffing some clothes into a bag. Jackie observes this]

JACKIE
I was wondering whether he drinks or not.

ROSE
Yeah, he does.

        [She continues stuffing the clothes into the bag]

JACKIE
Don't go, sweetheart. 

        [Rose stops for a moment and looks around at her]

JACKIE
Please don't go. 

        [Rose pauses, but then continues packing]

***

[It is night time. Mickey is sitting reading a newspaper on a bin outside the TARDIS. The small boy who graffiti'd the TARDIS the previous day is now busy cleaning it off again. The Doctor pokes his head around the door]

DOCTOR
Good lad. Graffiti that again and I'll 'ave ya. Now, beat it. 

[The little boy scurries off. The Doctor grins. Mickey glances after him. The Doctor walks over to Mickey]

MICKEY
I just went down the shop. And I was thinking, you know, like the whole world's changed. Aliens and spaceships all in public. And here it is.

[He shows the Doctor the front page of the newspaper, headlined 'Alien Hoax?' - the Doctor smiles slightly]

MICKEY
How could they do that? They saw it!

DOCTOR
They're just not ready. You're happy to believe in something that's invisible, but if it's staring you in the face - nope! Can't see it! There's a scientific explanation for that. You're thick. 

        [Mickey laughs slightly]

MICKEY
We're just idiots.

DOCTOR
Well, not all of you. 

        [Mickey sits up straighter in his surprise]

MICKEY
Yeah?

DOCTOR
Present for you, Mickey. 

        [He hands Mickey a disk]

DOCTOR
That's a virus. Put it online, it'll destroy every mention of me. I'll cease to exist. 

MICKEY
What do you want to do that for?

DOCTOR
'Cause you're right. I am dangerous. I don't want anybody following me.

        [In the background, Jackie and Rose emerge from the flats]

MICKEY
How can you say that - and then take her with you?

        [He gestures towards Rose]

DOCTOR
You could look after her. Come with us. 

MICKEY
I can't. This life of yours... it's just too much, I... I couldn't do it. 

        [Jackie and Rose approach]

MICKEY
Don't tell her I said that. 

JACKIE [to Rose]    
I'll get a proper job. I'll work weekends, I'll pass my test and if Jim comes round again, I'll say no. I really will. 

ROSE
I'm not leaving 'cause of you. I'm traveling, that's all. And then I'll come back! 

JACKIE
But it's not safe.

ROSE
Mum... if you saw it out there... you'd never stay home. 

        [She turns to the Doctor, taking her backpack off her shoulders]

DOCTOR
Got enough stuff? 

ROSE
Last time I stepped in there, it was spur of the moment.

        [She throws an enormous bag into the Doctor's arms]

ROSE
Now I'm signing up. You're stuck with me. Haha. 

        [Rose goes up to Mickey - Jackie looks the Doctor up and down] 

ROSE [to Mickey]
Come with us. There's plenty of room. 

        [Mickey gestures to the Doctor]

DOCTOR
No chance, he's ah, a liability, I'm not having him on board. 

ROSE
We'd be dead without him. 

DOCTOR
My decision is final. 

        [Rose turns back to Mickey]

ROSE
Sorry. 

        [They kiss briefly. Mickey gives a small wave as she backs away]

MICKEY
Good luck, then. 

        [Jackie rounds on the Doctor]

JACKIE
You still can't promise me. What if she gets lost? What if something happens to you, Doctor, and she's left all alone standing on some moon a million light years away - how long do I wait then?

ROSE
Mum...

        [Jackie spins around to face Rose]

ROSE
You're forgetting - it's a time machine. I could go traveling around suns and planets and all the way out to the edge of the universe and by the time I get back, yeah - ten seconds would have passed. Just ten seconds.

        [She puts her hands on Jackie's shoulders, and smiles kindly]

ROSE
So stop worrying. See you in ten seconds time. Hmm?

[She hugs her. The Doctor steps into the TARDIS. Rose follows him. Mickey gives a small wave and Rose shuts the door, leaving Mickey and Jackie alone outside. The TARDIS fades away. Jackie keeps her eyes on her watch as they stand in silence, then...]

JACKIE
Ten seconds.

[She walks back to the flats. Mickey settles himself back on top of the dustbin with the newspaper]

***

CLOSING CREDITS