I Love Lucy Transcripts
I LOVE LUCY
2X17 - Sales Resistance
Original Airdate: January 25, 1953
Written by: Bob Carroll Jr., Jess Oppenheimer & Madelyn PughJr.
Directed by: William Asher
Transcribed By: Jeffrey Thomason
http://east68street.com
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY PLAYING PIANO AND SINGING "THERES A BRAND NEW BABY IN OUR HOUSE", WHILE FRED AND ETHEL LISTEN NEARBY) (RICKY FINISHES SONG)
ETHEL: Oh Ricky that was wonderful!
FRED: That's great Rick. Did you really write that song?
RICKY: Yeah, I wrote it for Lucy. I'm gonna take it down to the hospital and play it for her. See I, I was recording it while I was singing it.
ETHEL: Oh… isn't that cleaver?!
FRED: Where did you get this thing?
RICKY: Well Lucy bought it to record the baby's first words.
FRED: How could she buy it if she's in the hospital?
RICKY: Well, the lady in the next bed is a salesman for the tape recorder company.
ETHEL: What?
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) Yes no kidding. This lady has a baby every year, and she sells enough recorders to pay for the baby.
(ETHEL AND FRED LAUGH)
RICKY: And you know how Lucy is…
FRED: We certainly do. Remember that Handy Dandy Company?
RICKY: Oi ya yi.
ETHEL: Oh, gee. I'll never forget the expression on Lucy's face that morning when I brought the mail up to her.
(NEW SCENE "FLASHBACK SEQUENCE BEGINS")
(KITCHEN – LUCY WASHING DISHES)
(ETHEL ENTERS)
ETHEL: Good morning Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
ETHEL: What's the matter with you?
LUCY: Oh, it's that Cuban sorehead I'm married to. I just had my weekly lecture about spending too much money.
ETHEL: What'd he have to say this time?
LUCY: I couldn't understand most of it; all I could get was that pesos don't grow on trees.
ETHEL: Well, it's over for another week. I brought up your mail.
LUCY: Good.
ETHEL: What's this? (POINTS TO UNOPENED PACKAGE)
LUCY: Oh no. Oh, I don't want Ricky to know I bought this. This is a kitchen gadget that I saw demonstrated on television. Where can I hide it?
ETHEL: How bout' the refrigerator?
LUCY: That's a good idea. He'd never look in there.
(LUCY AND ETHEL RUN TO REFRIGERATOR, RICKY WALKS IN UN-NOTICED)
LUCY: (WHISPERS) He'll never think of looking in here in a million years.
ETHEL: (WHISPERS) No I'd guess not.
(RICKY SNEAKS UP BEHIND BOTH OF THEM, WHILE THE GIRLS ARE LOOKING IN THE REFREGERATOR)
LUCY: (TURNS AROUND TO RICKY AND WHISPERS) There, do you think that's safe?
RICKY: (WHISPHERS) Yeah, I think that's safe.
LUCY: (UNAWARE FOR A SECOND OR TWO.) Ricky!
RICKY: What's in that package you don't want me to see?
LUCY: Nothing. (PUTS PACKAGE BEHIND HER AND WALKS BACKWARDS.)
RICKY: Let me see the package.
LUCY: Nothing! (PUTS PACKAGE ABOVE HEAD) "Statue of Liberty Play" Ethel!
ETHEL: Ok! (ETHEL GRABS PACKAGE RUNS TO LIVING ROOM, RICKY CHASES ETHEL)
LUCY: (FROM KITCHEN) Throw it here Ethel.
ETHEL: (THROWS PACKAGE THROUGH BREEZETHREW TO KITCHEN)
(LUCY CATCHES IT, RICKY RUNS TO DOOR TO KITCHEN. LUCY NOTICES RICKY, AND THROWS TO ETHEL, ETHEL THROWS BACK TO LUCY. RICKY RUNS AND CATCHES IT)
LUCY: Now Ricky give me that thing. That's mine, Ricky…
RICKY: Now wait a minute. Let me see, lets see what's in the package. (BEGINS OPENING) …lets see what's in the package. (OPENS PACKAGE AND HOLDS UP GADGET) What is it?
LUCY: It's a Handy Dandy Kitchen Helper. I saw it demonstrated on television, it's a tremendous bargain when you think of all the things you can do with it.
RICKY: How much is it?
LUCY: Uh, it rice's, dices, and splices.
RICKY: Lucy, how much?
LUCY: It cuts down on the time that a housewife has to spend in the kitchen.
RICKY: How much?
LUCY: About two hours a day.
RICKY: Lucy…
LUCY: Seven dollars and ninety-eight cents.
RICKY: Seven dollars and ninety-eight cents!
LUCY: Yeah but you'd think it was cheap at twice the price if you saw all the things the man does with it on television. I watch him every day. Here I'll show you.
FRED: Ethel…
(FRED ENTERS)
ETHEL: Yeah?
FRED: You better come down and let me see what you want to do with that clothesline.
ETHEL: Just a minute. Come on in, Lucy's gonna give us a demonstration.
FRED: Of what?
RICKY: A woman's stupidity.
FRED: That shouldn't take very long.
LUCY: All right. Now you all stand over there, and now ladies and gentleman I'm about to demonstrate the Handy Dandy Kitchen Helper. It's something you shouldn't be without. It peels, and splices, cuts, and rice's, skins, and dices, at lowest prices. Now watch me closely ladies and gentleman. I will set the dial for French fries, and then by turning this handle I will cut this potato in sixteen identical slices. Here we go. (THROWS POTATO IN GADGET, SMILES AND TURNS HANDLE. THEN OPENS DOOR SMILES AND LOOKS TO RICKY, FRED, AND ETHEL. THEN OPENS GADGET AND PULLS OUT WHOLE POTATOE) Oh I must a had it set for baked potato. Oh yeah, yeah I didn't have right on French Fries. That was it. (CLOSES DOOR AND PUTS POTATO IN) Here we go! (TURNS HANDLE LOOKING PLEASED, THEN OPENS DOOR AND PICKS UP GADGET. BITS OF POTATO FALL OUT)
RICKY: Sixteen identical slices
(FRED LAUGHS)
LUCY: It looked so easy when the man did it on television.
ETHEL: Oh honey, maybe you just haven't got the hang of it yet.
LUCY: Well I did what they told me…
RICKY: Honestly Fred, why is it that woman have no sales resistance whatsoever?
FRED: I don't know they'll buy anything.
RICKY: Lucy doesn't know the meaning of the word "no".
FRED: Ethel doesn't either.
RICKY: Lucy's a sucker for any sales pitch.
FRED: Ethel is to.
LUCY: Lucy and Ethel make me sick.
RICKY: Now honey, you you must admit that you'd buy anything that comes along.
LUCY: I'm no worse than you are. How bout' that little purchase you made at the war surplus store.
RICKY: That was a necessary item.
LUCY: Oh sure, you never know when your gonna use a twenty foot rubber live raft.
(FRED LAUGHS)
ETHEL: What are you laughing at fatso? You're just as bad.
FRED: What are you talking about?
RICKY: Now look, look, look. The fact is that you just thrown eight dollars down the drain for …this.
LUCY: Seven dollars and ninety-five cents and it isn't down the drain. I got it on a three day free trial. If I don't want it, I just call em' up and tell em' to take it back.
RICKY: Well then call em' up.
LUCY: No…
RICKY: Lucy, either your gonna call em up and tell them to take it back or I'm going to use it to demonstrate how to cut a wife into sixteen identical slices.
LUCY: (PICKS UP PHONE) Really…?
(END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(LUCY REHEARSING WHAT SHE'LL SAY WHILE VACUMMING)
(PUTS DOWN VACCUM AND PICKS UP HANDY DANDY KITCHEN HELPER)
(THEN REHEASES SILENTLY EXPLAINING WHY SHE DON'T WANT IT. THEN ACTS LIKE SHE IS GETTING YELLED AT BY THE SALESMAN. SHE TRIES TO REASON WITH HIM. THE DOORBELL RINGS, LUCY PUTS GADGET BACK ON MANTLE AND WALKS TO DOOR)
MAN AT DOOR: Mrs. Ricardo?
LUCY: Yes?
MAN AT DOOR: I'm Harry Martin of the Handy Dandy Company.
LUCY: (IN FIRM VOICE) Yes I've been expecting you. Won't you come in please? (SHUTS DOOR, AND WALKS TO GET GADGET) (IN QUICK VOICE) Mr. Martin this Handy Dandy Kitchen Helper does not work and I have it on a three day free trial and I don't want it. You'll have to take it back.
MR. MARTIN: Gladly.
LUCY: Uh uh, it isn't any good and I'm not gonna pay for it.
MR. MARTIN: Course your not.
LUCY: I see no reason why I should… What'd you say?
MR. MARTIN: I said of course you're not going to pay for it. We don't want you to keep any merchandise that you're not happy with.
LUCY: You don't?
MR. MARTIN: No of course not, and your quite right not to want that. Why, why that isn't a wise buy at all. In fact Mrs. Ricardo I wouldn't let you keep this dreadful little gadget even if you begged me. I'm glad you didn't want that. That shows me that you're a woman of, of judgment and taste.
LUCY: Really?
MR. MARTIN: Yes indeed. When you opened that door, I said to myself. I said Harry; there stands a woman of judgment and taste.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Is that so?
MR. MARTIN: Mrs. Ricardo you have no idea of the inferior type of humanity that I have to contend with in my profession. Why, you just wouldn't believe some of the woman I have to talk to. They, they, have no intelligence at all.
LUCY: My… Goodness.
MR. MARTIN: Why just this morning I ran in… Say, I'll bet I'm keeping you from something important?
LUCY: Oh no, no not at all.
MR. MARTIN: Well I find you're such an easy person to talk to and huh, I don't know. I'd just like to get this off my chest.
LUCY: Oh well, go right ahead.
MR. MARTIN: May I tell you about what happened to me this morning?
LUCY: Certainly.
MR. MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. Now, now you just pretend that your this woman I'm calling on. Ay?
LUCY: Alright.
MR. MARTIN: Just stay right there. (WALKS OUT OF APARTMENT AND RINGS THE DOORBELL)
(LUCY GOES TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT)
(MR. MARTIN THROWS A DIRT PILE INTO LIVING ROOM)
LUCY: What's that?
MR. MARTIN: I also represent the Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner.
LUCY: Oh.
MR. MARTIN: (GOES TO HALLWAY AND COMES IN WITH VACUUM) So this morning when the woman opened the door, and I threw the dirt on the floor just like I did now. And then I, I handed her a ten dollar bill. Just like this, see and then I said to her. I said, Madam that ten dollar bill, that sawbuck, that one tenth of a C-Note is all yours if this Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner fails to clean up all this dirt in less than ah two minutes flat. I said that to her see. And then I uh, I took my Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner and I, I uh plugged it in. Like this, and then I went right to work. (TRIES TO TURN ON VACUUM, BUT FAILS TO DO SO) That's funny…
LUCY: Oh, oh this plug is controlled by this switch. So's that light see.
MR. MARTIN: Oh, I see… (LOOKS AT WRIST WATCH) …GO! (BEGINS VACUUMING) …(TURNS VACUUM OFF, LOOKS AT WRIST WATCH) Forty-Five seconds (GRABS MONEY OUT OF LUCY'S HANDS)
LUCY: My… that was fast.
MR. MARTIN: Yes it was wasn't it? But do you know that woman was angry with me?
LUCY: About what?
MR. MARTIN: Because I threw dirt on her floor.
LUCY: But ya cleaned it right up with your wonderful Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner.
MR. MARTIN: Yes, yes of course I did. But she was still angry. And do you know what she did next?
LUCY: What?
MR. MARTIN: Why when I told her that this Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner, and the attachments, that it sold for Eight ninety-five for the works. Why that short sighted, narrow visioned female did not even have the intelligence to buy one?
LUCY: What a DOPE!
MR. MARTIN: Well, shows you what you got to put up with. I'm glad I got that off my chest. (BEGINS PACKING EQUIPMENT UP)
LUCY: Mr. Martin, did you say uh eight ninety-five?
MR. MARTIN: That's right, and uh. Now I think I'll have to go.
LUCY: But Mr. Martin, aren't you gonna give me a chance to buy one of those.
MR. MARTIN: Oh Mrs. Ricardo, when I told you about this other woman I, I didn't mean to get you to buy it.
LUCY: Oh but Mr. Martin our our our sweepers so outdated. Its old, it doesn't work right or anything. And we really do need one of those.
MR. MARTIN: Well, as a matter of fact I. I was bringing this little gem home as a present for my wife.
LUCY: Oh…
MR. MARTIN: Well, I don't know. I suppose, if you that you really need one.
LUCY: Oh, we do. We do.
MR. MARTIN: You talked me into it.
LUCY: Oh thank you Mr. Martin. Thank you. (CHUCKLES AND GETS MONEY BAG, AND GIVES MONEY TO MR. MARTIN) Uh, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, (COUNTS OUT CHANGE) Fifty… Ninety-Five. Is that right?
MR. MARTIN: That's the price. For the works. Now that you own the works, uh. Don't you think that you would like this nice Grey metal cover to keep it from getting dirty?
LUCY: But didn't I just but the…
MR. MARTIN: You bought the most important part yeah, the works. Now there are a few more little accessories like like the hose, and uh the electric cord, and the attachments there.
LUCY: Gee that must run into quite a bit of money.
MR. MARTIN: No, no no.
LUCY: No?
MR. MARTIN: Not at all this, this electric cord for instance is… only five dollars.
LUCY: Five dollars?
MR. MARTIN: Well its extra long.
LUCY: Oh.
MR. MARTIN: And uh the attachments uh… they're two fifty.
LUCY: Two fifty?
MR. MARTIN: A piece.
LUCY: Oh
MR. MARTIN: And then there's a Utility Lamp.
LUCY: Oh?
MR. MARTIN: There's a carrying case for the cleaner.
LUCY: Oh?
MR. MARTIN: Carrying case for the attachments.
LUCY: Oh?
MR. MARTIN: The switch that turns it on and off… (END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(LUCY SETTING ON COUCH WITH VACUUM PARTS ALL AROUND HER)
(ETHEL ENTERS)
ETHEL: Hi Lucy. Did the man take back the Kitchen Helper?
(LUCY SHAKES HEAD "YES")
ETHEL: (WALKS INTO ROOM MORE) Did you have any trouble with him?
(LUCY SHAKES HEAD "NO")
ETHEL: What's the matter wit… Lucy! Did you buy all this stuff from him?
(LUCY SHAKES HEAD "YES")
ETHEL: Oh Lucy, I thought you were gonna have sales resistance from now on.
(LUCY LOOKS DEFEATED TO ETHEL)
ETHEL: What happened?
LUCY: I don't know. Right after he took back the Kitchen Helper everything went black.
ETHEL: Oh?
LUCY: When the lights came on again, I was short a hundred and two dollars and forty cents.
ETHEL: A hundred and two dollars and forty cents for just this?
LUCY: No he, for a bonus he threw in the Kitchen Helper.
ETHEL: Oh, that was nice of him.
LUCY: For a dollar and a half.
ETHEL: What a salesman he must be.
LUCY: Yeah, but but this is really a wonderful machine and, and it just works beautifully. Turn on the switch and I'll show you. (BEGINS VACUUMING)
ETHEL: Ok (TURNS SWITCH ON) …what's this one for Lucy? …Lucy? (GOES TO SWITCH AND TURNS IT OFF) Try this one Lucy.
LUCY: I… (SINGING IN BACKGROUND) That's Ricky, that's Ricky! I don't want him to see this stuff. Help me hide it.
ETHEL: Hide it?
LUCY: Yeah. (THROWS ATTACHMENTS IN CASE)
ETHEL: Oh…
LUCY: He can't see this.
ETHEL: Aren't you going to tell him you bought all this?
LUCY: Someday yes, when we're old and gray, but not now.
ETHEL: Where will I put it?
LUCY: In the closet.
ETHEL: In the closet…
(LUCY PICKS UP VACUUM AND PUTS IT IN CLOSET, EVEN THOUGH ITS STILL PLUGGED IN. BOTH RUN AND SIT DOWN)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hello
LUCY: Oh look here's Ricky, Hi Ricky.
ETHEL: Hello Ricky, goodbye Ricky (RUNS OUT)
RICKY: Well, she's in a hurry.
LUCY: Yeah, (CHUCKLES).
(RICKY WALKS TO CLOSET WITH COAT)
LUCY: Oh I'll hang it up for you dear.
RICKY: Oh thank you. (SITS DOWN WITH NEWSPAPER) What did you do today?
LUCY: Why do you ask that?
RICKY: I always ask that.
LUCY: Oh yeah… that's right, Uh nothing much.
RICKY: Its dark in here (TURNS AROUND TO TURN ON TABLE LAMP BEHIND HIM, THEN REALIZES IT DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE THE SWITCH IS OFF) Oh, (WALKS TO SWITCH, AND THEN TURNS IT ON. THE VACUUM ALSO TURNS ON AND LUCY STANDS UP) What's that?
LUCY: What's what?
RICKY: That.
LUCY: What?
RICKY: That…
LUCY: (RUNS TO SWITCH WHILE RICKY IS NOT LOOKING AND TURNS IT OFF) Oh that, that's me (BEGINS MAKING NOISES)
RICKY: What?
LUCY: My stomachs growling. It's been growling all day. (LUCY'S BACK TO RICKY BEGINS TO MAKE SOUNDS AGAIN)
(RICKY TURNS AROUND AND TURNS THE SWITCH BACK ON AND LOOKS AROUND)
RICKY: Now Lucy you know darn well you're not making that noise. It sounds like a vacuum cleaner. Where's it coming from? LUCY: Oh that sound oh (WALKS TO RICKY) Ethel must be cleaning her rug. (BEGINS STOMPING AND RICKY LOOKS DOWN. LUCY TURNS THE SWITCH BACK OFF WHILE YELLING.) All right Ethel clean it up now dear, that's all. (THEN WALKS AWAY) There I guess she's finished.
(RICKY TURNS SWITCH BACK ON)
LUCY: Whoops not quite.
RICKY: (NOTICES CORD PLUGGED IN WALKS TO IT THEN FOLLOWS THE CORD TO THE OTHER END. LUCY RUNS OVER IN FRONT OF HIM)
LUCY: Ricky?
RICKY: What?
LUCY: Kiss me?
RICKY: After I see what's at the end of this cord, Alright?
LUCY: Better kiss me now, if you're ever going to.
(RICKY PUSHES LUCY OUT OF THE WAY, AND OPENS CLOSET DOOR, AND BRINGS OUT VACUUM)
RICKY: Lucy, what is this?
LUCY: Oh darn! You found your Christmas present.
RICKY: (READS TAG) The Handy Dandy Vacuum Cl… oh no, Lucy you didn't.
LUCY: Yeah, I sort of did I guess.
RICKY: Ok come on. Call the man and tell him to take it back.
LUCY: No, you'd be sorry.
RICKY: Why?
LUCY: Cause he'll probably sell me a Handy Dandy Bulldozer.
RICKY: Never mind.
LUCY: Ricky, Ricky really he does sell other things. And you know how I am.
RICKY: Yes, I know only too well. Now look, your gonna call him back, and your gonna get rid of that vacuum cleaner, and your gonna get your money back understand.
LUCY: Oh yes.
(END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(LUCY VACUUMING)
(ETHEL ENTERS)
ETHEL: Lucy? (WALKS TO LUCY, AND TAPS HER SHOULDER)
LUCY: (YES IN SCARED VOICE) I'm taking back this afternoon. (BREATHS HEAVILY) Oh… I though you were Ricky.
ETHEL: Oh, are you really gonna take it back?
LUCY: Yeah I was just having one last sweep for the road. Oh gee, Ethel I don't dare call Mr. Martin. I'm absolute putty in his hands.
ETHEL: Obviously.
LUCY: Hm. Why'd I buy that thing anyway?
ETHEL: Why did you?
LUCY: I couldn't resist it, hey. If I couldn't resist it maybe someone else won't be able to.
ETHEL: You mean you're gonna try to sell it to somebody else?
LUCY: Sure I could sell it. I remember everything Mr. Martin said and did.
ETHEL: Don't look at me.
LUCY: Oh I'm going to start in the next block and keep going until I unload this monster.
(END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LADY'S APARTMENT)
(LADY CLEANING TABLE, DOORBELL RINGS. SHE ANSWERS DOOR AND LUCYS THERE)
LUCY: Good afternoon madam. Are you the lady of the house?
LADY: Yeah.
(LUCY THROWS DIRT INTO LIVING ROOM)
LADY: Hey! What are ya doin!
(LUCY GIVES LADY MONEY)
LUCY: Madam, that ten dollar bill, that sawbuck, that one tenth of a C-Note is all yours if my Handy Dandy Vacuum Cleaner fails to clean up that mess in two minutes flat.
LADY: You mean this ten dollars is mine if you don't pick up all that dirt in two minutes flat?
LUCY: That's right, let's see now here we are (RUNS TO OUTLET, THEN RUNS TO MACHINE AND ATTEMPTS TO TURN IT ON. SHE FAILS AND TRYS AGAIN, AND AGAIN) That's funny I cant imagine why it doesn't work.
LADY: I can. The electricity is turned off.
LUCY: What?
LADY: We didn't pay our bill.
LUCY: Oh no. Why didn't you tell me?
LADY: You didn't ask me. (PUTS MONEY IN BLOUSE).
LUCY: Oh dear, I'm sorry I made such a mess on your floor. I don't know how your gonna clean it up.
LADY: (IN FIRM VOICE) I do.
LUCY: (KNEELS DOWN LOOKING AT LADY AND MAKES SIGNITURE SOUND, AND BEGINS PICKING UP DIRT WITH HANDS)
(END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(ETHEL AND FRED ON COUCH AND RICKY PACING)
RICKY: Where can she be Ethel it's so late.
ETHEL: I don't know. Maybe she had to call on more houses than she though she would.
FRED: Well there's nothing to worry about…
ETHEL: Shh, I hear somebody.
(LUCY COMES STUMBLING IN)
RICKY: Lucy… What happened?
LUCY: You'd be glad to know Ricky that there are plenty of woman in town with sales resistance.
FRED: Couldn't you sell the vacuum cleaner?
(LUCY SHAKES HEAD "NO")
ETHEL: Oh you poor little thing. Come on honey and sit down. Here, I'll take your shoes off that'll help… Lucy! Where's your other shoe?
LUCY: Stuck in the door at three ten east sixty-Ninth Street.
ETHEL: Oh dear.
LUCY: I was kicked down stairs, bitten by a dog, and chased three blocks by a policeman who wanted to see my peddler's license. One more hour they would've reported another death of a salesman.
RICKY: Now honey I'm sorry that you had to go threw all of that, but you know its your own fault. Why didn't you just call Mr. Martin like I told you to do?
LUCY: Oh sure.
RICKY: Well I'll call em' where's his number.
LUCY: Its right there on the pad.
RICKY: Ok. Oh Fred I don't know what these woman would do without us men to getting them out of all these messes that they get into.
FRED: I don't either.
RICKY: (TO PHONE) Hello, Mr. Martin. This is Ricky Ricardo. Look you sold my wife a vacuum cleaner yesterday. Yes, that's right. Well uh, we decided not to keep it after all. So we'd like you to come back tonight and take it back. Eight O' Clock? Yes that'll be fine. Thank you very much goodbye. (HANGS UP) There do you see how simple it was?
LUCY: Ricky, you shouldn't have him come over here. You don't know what he's like. He'll say that he'll take it back but sell you something else.
RICKY: Oh, (LAUGHS) nonsense.
LUCY: Well I'm not gonna be here, I'm going to a movie. Come on Ethel lets get out of here.
ETHEL: Ok.
LUCY: I'm gonna get cleaned up.
(LUCY AND ETHEL EXIT TO BEDROOM)
RICKY: Have you ever seen anything like that?
FRED: Never in my life.
(LUCY COMES RUNNING IN)
LUCY: You take my advice. You put that vacuum cleaner out in the hall, lock the door, and sit here in the dark.
(LUCY EXITS TO BEDROOM)
(RICKY AND FRED LAUGH)
(END SCENE)
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY AND FRED ON SOFA PLAYING CARDS)
(ETHEL AND LUCY ENTER)
ETHEL: Hi.
RICKY: Oh hi, how was the movie.
FRED: Hi.
ETHEL: Fine.
LUCY: Did uh, Mr. Martin get here?
RICKY: Yeah he was here.
LUCY: Did he take back the vacuum cleaner?
RICKY: Of course he did.
FRED: He had no trouble at all.
LUCY: Oh?
RICKY: As a matter of fact he paid me a great complement. He said I was a man of great judgment and real taste.
LUCY: Ooh…
RICKY: And not only that, but he said he didn't blame me in the least for buying such an inferior product.
LUCY: Uh oh… What happened then?
RICKY: Nothin'
LUCY: Come on…
RICKY: Nothin'…
LUCY: Come on, where is it?
(RICKY POINTS TO KITCHEN)
(LUCY EXITS TO KITCHEN, THEN RETURNS)
LUCY: Ethel guess what, we have a new Handy Dandy Refrigerator. Ahh Ricky, I'm glad you don't have any sales resistance either (LAUGHS)
ETHEL: Ah, Lucy. You get all the breaks. Nobody could sell old Fred anything.
RICKY: Oh no?
LUCY: Oh?
ETHEL: Fred?
FRED: (TURNS TO ETHEL) Come on down and see your Handy Dandy Washing Machine.
ETHEL: Ahh Fred!
(ALL LAUGH)
(END SCENE)
(END SHOW)