The Class Transcripts
THE CLASS
1x15: The Class Eats Moroccan Chicken
Original Airdate: Monday, February 05, 2007 on CBS
Written by: Steven Molaro
Directed by: James Burrows
Transcribed exclusively for TVTDB.com
By: The Jellybean 66
Edited by: Pennywise
Episode begins with the usual showing of the third grade class. This time, it zooms in on Nicole Campbell and then cuts to a grown up Nicole coming into her living room from the front door, to find Richie and Duncan there eating pizza.
Nicole: Hey guys! Oh, pizza.
Duncan: Yeah, it's from a new place on Villanova; they got extra cheese in the crust.
Nicole: Aw, that's great. Could you get it the hell out of here?!
Richie: What's happening?
Nicole: I-I'm sorry, it's just...Yonk and I are on this really strict diet. His cholesterol is almost up to 400.
Duncan: Is that high?
Richie: Not for a couple.
Nicole: Anyway, I'm trying to be supportive. So, for the last two weeks neither of us have had any meat or fried foods or cheese (she starts trailing off) or pepperoni or crust...
Richie: How's that goin'?
Nicole: Really great!
Duncan: Yeah?
Nicole: Oh yeah, I'm eating all kinds of healthy goodies, you know. Pumpkin seeds and rice cakes. If I have a craving for a french fry I can just reach for a carrot stick. It's like a healthy french fry that makes you mad!
Duncan: Well, we're done with the pizza anyway.
Nicole: Oh great. Also, if you're going to throw the rest of it out, uh, when you put it in the garbage, can you make sure that it touches other garbage?
Richie: What?
Nicole: Well, yeah, 'cuz if I'm lying in bed tonight and I know that there's pizza in the garbage that's only touched the box, I'm gonna eat that son of a bitch! (Nicole exits)
Opening theme
Scene opens to a picture of Kyle Lendo in third grade and zooms in. We see a grown up Kyle in Kat's living room looking thru a stack of pictures.
Kyle: These are all pictures of Benjamin Chap?
Ethan: Mmm-hmm. She followed him around for months. Hiding in bushes, behind mailboxes, etc.
Kyle: Oooo. What's etcetera?
Ethan: N-No, 'Mail Boxes, Etc.'
Kyle: Oh!
Kat walks in from her kitchen
Kyle: And now you're dating him?
Kat: Yes, I am!
Kyle: Wow, you're an inspiration to stalkers everywhere. You got your guy and you-you didn't even have to dig a little room under your house.
Ethan: So. I-I assume you haven't shown him these?
Kat: Dude, I'm creepy. I'm not stupid.
Richie and Lina enter the room
Richie: Hey!
Lina: Hey!
Kat: What's going on?
Lina: Can we borrow your coffee maker?
Kat: Okay. (She turns around to head to the kitchen)
Lina: Don't you want to know why?
Kat: Well, I'm sure it's a gripping tale...
Lina: We're throwing our first dinner pary together!
Richie: She's very exited. (Lina jumps up and down)
Lina: (squealing) Very excited! It's Friday night and it's going to be the two of us and Duncan...you and Benjamin, Nicole, and you and Palmer. (slight awkward moment as Lina has forgotten Kyle's name)
Richie: (to Kyle) And YOU...
Kyle: Kyle.
Richie: Kyle! (Kyle waves at Richie)
Next scene is back to Nicole's living room.
Duncan: Hey, whose Ferrari's in the driveway?
Nicole: Uh, it's Jerry Rice's. He and Yonk are working on some speech for a charity thing they're doing.
Duncan: Hold on. Jerry rice is here?
Nicole: Yeah.
Duncan: So, you and I are under the same roof as Jerry Rice?
Nicole: Yes.
Duncan: So, like, if this place fell down on us then, I would be trapped under the same rubble as Jerry Rice?
Nicole: Yeah, but they'd probably rescue him first.
Duncan: I would want them to!
Yonk and Jerry Rice walk into the living room
Yonk: All right, let's get outta here. Oh, Jerry, this is my friend Dunc.
Jerry: How's it goin'?
Duncan: (He shakes hands with Jerry Rice) Wow! It is awesome to meet you man! I am, oh – (his mobile rings and he looks at it) Sorry, it's my mom. She's not gonna believe who I'm talking to. Ma? Guess who I'm with? (to Jerry Rice) If you could just say hi...(he puts his mobile next to Jerry Rice's ear)
Jerry: How you doin'?
Duncan: Guess who that was. No. No. No. Why are you guessing dead people? (To Jerry) Just tell her who you are. (he hands his mobile back to Jerry)
Jerry: I'm Jerry Rice. No, that's not a hint. (He hands the mobile back to Duncan) She's still guessing.
Yonk: Sugar, we're out of here. You have fun at your little dinner party. (He kisses Nicole on the top of her head)
Nicole: Oh, okay. And I want you to have fun too; but remember, healthy choices.
Yonk: Oh, come on. We're goin' to a steakhouse! I beat Jerry at pool, he has to buy me a steak.
Nicole: Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind buying you a nice piece of salmon.
Jerry: I'll be happy to buy the little lady a salmon.
Yonk: Man, I'm never going to hear the end of it.
Nicole: No, that's not true. Jerry, please, this is about my husband's health.
Jerry: I'm sorry.
Nicole: Thank you.
Jerry: (to Yonk) Now remember, this one's on me so you don't have to bring your purse.
Scene starts with Richie entering Lina's apartment holding two bags of ice, one in each arm held close to his chest...
Richie: Hey!
Lina: Hey!
Richie: I got two bags of ice and two numb nipples.
Lina: Oh, hey, do you want to taste the chicken?
Richie: It's-It's not fish?
Lina: No. Chicken.
Richie: Ah. Is there fish in it?
Lina: No, no, no, no. That's just the spices. It's exotic. It's Moroccan chicken.
Richie: Ah.
Lina: Yeah, I even went to the special grocery store to get all the stuff for it. Come on, taste it.
Richie: Okay. (Lina lifts the lid off the pot and Richie makes a face) Mmmm! It's pungent!
Lina: Yeah. (she puts some on a spoon and feeds it to Richie who again makes a face) Is it good?
Richie: Good doesn't even describe it! Forget good!
Lina: (with a surprised look on her face) Really?! (Richie nods)
Richie: Haven't you tasted it?
Lina: Oh, uh, I can't. The vegetarian thing. But it's really yummy?
Richie: My taste buds are like 'WOW!'
Scene with Kat and Benjamin kissing in front of Lina's apartment door, in the hallway.
Ben: We should probably go in.
Kat: Do we have to?
Ben: Well, we're already late. Isn't your sister going to be pissed?
Kat: She just spent the last four months in a wheelchair. I could take her. (They kiss again) Let's go. They walk towards the door but Ben starts to adjust his pants and she stares at the front of his pants. You uh, need a minute?
Ben: That's my cell phone.
Kat: Oh. Well, then I'm kinda embarrassed for what I was doing to it. Might just have made a call.
Kat and Ben walk into Lina's apartment. Ethan, Palmer, Duncan, Nicole, and Kyle are already there.
Kat: Hi!
Everyone: Hey.
Lina: Oh good, you made it. Everybody, dinner is served!
Richie: So if you could all make your way to the dining room. (The guests begin to seat themselves) Oh good, you're here!
Kyle: (To Ben) Uh, hi, I'm Kyle. I-I'm a huge fan. (He shakes Ben's hand) I saw you play last year with the Philadelphia Orchestra. You were extraordinary!
Ben: Oh, thank you! I really appreciate it.
Duncan: This is so cool! I met two famous people in one day. Jerry Rice and uh, whoever you are!
Nicole: What are we having?
Lina: Moroccan Chicken.
Richie: (whispering to Kyle as he serves his food to him) Sorry. (again whispering as he serves Ben) Sorry. (whispers to everyone else) So sorry.
Palmer: (with a face) What am I tasting?
Ethan: Um, tires. Uh, socks.
Kat: Did she say Moroccan chicken or 'mor-rotten' chicken?
Lina: (as she serves Duncan) Duncan, you're a big guy so you get a big piece. (she puts down a bowl in front of Nicole)
Duncan: It's not my fault I'm big. What is this orange thing?
Lina: It's a kind of sweet potato. It's a North African tuber.
Ethan: There's tumors in this ?!
Lina: No! Tuber! Like a yam?
Ethan: Oh. (to everyone after Lina walks away) Tumors made sense.
Nicole: Is there cream in it?
Lina: Uh, a little bit.
Nicole: (with an insincere tone) Oh shoot! Yonk and I are on these strict diets. I'm sorry!
Lina: Oh, no, no, no! That's okay! Duncan, more for you!
Nicole hands her bowl to Duncan, who just stares at her.
Scene finds Duncan eating on his couch when the phone rings. Puzzled, he looks at the phone before he answers...
Duncan: Hello?
Nicole: (using Duncan's mobile) Hey, you left your cell phone at my house.
Duncan: Oh, thank God! When I saw my name on the caller ID, I thought it was like me calling from the future! What are you doin'?
Nicole: Just eating a stupid salad. Almost makes me wish I had eaten that chicken at Lina's.
Duncan: Woman, you do not know what you're saying!
Nicole: Okay. So what are you doin'?
Duncan: Ah, on the way home from Lina's I picked up some actual food.
Nicole: Yeah? (In a sensual voice) What are you eating?
Duncan: Cheesesteak.
Nicole: That sounds nice.
Duncan: You know, I gotta come by and get my phone anyway. I could...stop...pick you up a steak if you want.
Nicole: No, I couldn't. Did you get peppers on it?
Duncan: Ah-ha.
Nicole: Sweet or hot?
Duncan: Both.
Nicole: (with a moan in her voice) I like it sweet and hot! (starts breathing heavy) Okay, I need it! I need it right now! Get over here!! Hurry!!!
Scene at Lina's apartment. She and Richie are clearing off the table.
Lina: Wow, a lot of people didn't eat their chicken.
Richie: Ha. You know what I'll bet happened. Everyone was having so much fun talking, they didn't get a chance to eat. They say you know it's a good dinner party when no one's touched their food.
Lina: I never heard that.
Richie: Well, they say it!
Lina: Seems a shame to throw it all out.
Richie: (as he's throwing some of the chicken in the garbage) Eh, whatcha gonna do?
Lina: (spots Richie's bowl still full) Hey, you didn't get to eat any of yours.
Richie: Oh, I-I was, I was so busy hosting. I got (patting stomach) full on good times!
Lina: Stop it! You must be starving. Here, eat it now.
Richie: Oh...kay! (he sits at the table) Here I go! (He takes a bite of the chicken)
Lina: How is it?
Richie: It's funny, as it cools, the flavors intensify!
Scene has Duncan arriving at Nicole's house with a cheesesteak.
Nicole: This is so wrong! (she grabs the cheesesteak and runs to sit on her couch) You're all mine, you meaty bastard! (she begins to unwrap the sandwich) Oh, it's hot! Oh, it's so hot! (she takes a huge bite to fill her mouth and moans) Mmmm...God...God, it's so good! (takes another bite) Oh yeah!
Duncan sits across from her and takes a bite of his cheesesteak when Yonk walks in on them
Yonk: Oh...my...God.
Nicole turns around to see Yonk and reveals her mouth stuffed with cheesesteak
Nicole: (mumbling with food in her mouth) I can explain!
Yonk: And in my own house.
Nicole: (still mumbling with food in her mouth) This isn't what it looks like!
Yonk: (to Duncan) And you. I thought you were my friend.
Duncan: I'm sorry. I- Maybe I should go?
Yonk: Yes, you should. (Duncan grabs his bag and runs out the front door)
Nicole: (still with food in her mouth) It was just this one time, I swear!
Yonk: And I had the poached salmon tonight. I feel like such a fool!
Nicole: Sweetie, I'm sorry. (she reaches out to touch him) I-
Yonk: (as he pulls away) Don't! Just don't. (he walks away)
Nicole watches Yonk leave the room and quickly takes another hearty bite of the cheesesteak.
Scene with Kat and Ben in Ben's bedroom
Kat: God, what did we ever do to the people of Morocco to deserve that dish?
Ben: No, no, no, no. Don't blame Morocco. I've been there tons of times and I've never tasted anything remotely like what we ate tonight.
Kat: Who are you?
Ben: What?
Kat: (imitating Ben) I've been to Morocco tons of times...
Ben: Shut up! I have! I play a concert there every year. You'd love it.
Kat: Morocco?
Ben: Yeah. It feels like you're on another planet. All...hot...and exotic. Like you.
Kat: (scoffs) Yeah. Say more.
Ben: Well, I'm playing there again in May. You should definitely come with me.
Kat: 'May' like three months from now 'May'?
Ben: Yeah. You have a conflict or something?
Kat: No. No, no. Just uh, don't usually plan things that far ahead.
Ben: Well, now you have a plan.
Kat: Mm-hmm.
Scene with Kat and Ben in bed. Ben is sleeping but Kat is wide awake. She begins to try to get out of bed without Ben waking up but he does
Ben: Hey, are you all right?
Kat: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to the bathroom. Go back to sleep. (Ben nods his head and goes back to sleep. Kat gathers her clothes and leaves)
Scene has Kat arriving at her apartment and she sees Ethan leaving Palmer's.
Ethan: Morning.
Kat: You're up early.
Ethan: I was going for a run.
Kat: You know, you die either way.
Palmer opens her door.
Palmer: I thought I heard voices. (to Kat) Hey, early bird!
Kat: Hey. Worm.
Ethan: So, um, what's up with one boot?
Kat: Oh, uh, I left Benjamin's in kind of a hurry.
Ethan: You guys had a fight or something?
Kat: No. He just told me he wants to take me to Morocco in May.
Palmer: You should totally go to Morocco! I went there a couple of years ago; it was fantastic!
Ethan: So, what's the problem? They guy you stalked coming on too strong?
Kat: (sarcastically) Yeah, that's it.
Ethan: Well, then why don't you want to go to Morocco with him?
Kat: I do want to go to Morocco with him! The minute he said it, I started picturing us there and it was great.
Palmer: Of course it's great! It's Morocco!
Kat: No one is arguing Morocco's not great.
Palmer: Good! 'Cause they would lose!
Ethan: Sweetie, would you just give us a minute?
Palmer: Sure. Oh, I'll get you my maps. You're gonna have the best time! (she goes into her apartment)
Kat: (to Ethan) Really??
Ethan: Alright. So, so, he wants to take you to Morocco and you want to go?
Kat: Yeah.
Ethan: I can see why you're so upset.
Kat: Just because you want Morocco doesn't mean you get Morocco. Let's be realistic here. Something is going to screw this up. So, I don't want to set myself up for Morocco if it's never going to happen.
Ethan: Well, I can guarantee you it's never going to happen.
Kat: Why?
Ethan: Why?! You sneak out on the guy in the middle of the night? It kinda sends a message.
Kat: God! I'm so messed up. (she sits down on the floor in front of her apt door)
Ethan: You really are. (he sits down next to Kat)
Kat: I just...I just don't want to be Lina.
Ethan: What do you mean?
Kat: She's always like 'Oh, I'm so in love! He's the one!' And then two weeks later her heart's getting its ass kicked.
Ethan: (scoffs) Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed but your sister's heart's doing just fine. You know, she had to go through some stuff but it seems worth it. She's with a guy who loves her even though she does unspeakable things to chicken.
Kat: Yeah, I guess.
Ethan: I want you to have Morocco.
Kat: What do you care?
Ethan: (shrugs his shoulders) I care.
Kat: Well, it's too late now.
Ethan: Maybe not. You could still go back over there.
Kat: What, now? I just snuck out.
Ethan: Sneak back in!
Kat: (scoffs) Yeah. Can you do that?
Ethan: Yeah! Yeah. But you gotta get over there before he wakes up.
Kat: That's not lame or-
Ethan: No. Come on, let's go! (he helps Kat up off the floor) Go! (she runs down the hallway) Hey look! You're running!
Kat: Shut up!
Palmer opens her front door
Palmer: I'm such an idiot. I meant Spain! I've never been to Morocco.
Scene with Kat sneaks back into Ben's apt. She puts down her things and rushes to get back in as he is waking up.
Ben: Morning.
Kat: (sleepily) Morning.
Benjamin lifts up the covers to see Kat is wearing her pants
Ben: Um, kinda overdressed?
Kat: Oh, I got chilly.
Ben: Did you?
Kat: Yeah.
Ben: Hmm.
Kat: Actually, uh, I was out for a bit.
Ben: I know.
Kat: Oh.
Ben: But, I had a feeling you'd be coming back.
Kat: Why? (Ben pulls out her missing boot) Ah.
Ben: Yeah.
Kat: (as she tosses the boot to the floor) Thank you. Look. We have a problem.
Ben: Oh. Okay.
Kat: I like you.
Ben: Well. I just don't see how we're going to get past that.
Kat: I'm not good at the liking thing. Not liking I have got down; but actually liking, um, I'm sort of on unchartered waters here.
Ben: Well, you're going to hate what I have to say.
Kat: What?
Ben: I like you too.
Kat: Oh crap. (Ben kisses her) Are you sure that you want this? You do not know what you're in for. (he kisses her again) Okay. You were warned.
Ben: So, uh, are you still feeling a little chilly?
Kat: I'm definitely feeling warmer.
Ben: Maybe we can take some of this off?
Kat: We could.
Ben: Maybe, leave the boot?
Kat: Ooo, interesting.
Scene at Lina's apt. Richie is looking at menus.
Richie: What do you want for dinner? Maybe Chinese?
Lina: We still got the chicken.
Richie: Great! The chicken, which would be delicious obviously. Ah, but then what would you have?
Lina: Eh, I could just make a salad for me.
Richie: Or, we could both have a salad.
Lina: Or, you could have a salad with your chicken.
Richie: Or, I could have a salad with no chicken, with no chicken.
Lina: What?
Richie: I'm saying, no more chicken! No chicken!
Lina: Why?
Richie: The chicken is evil!
Lina: It's, it's really that bad?
Richie: You have no idea. It tasted like an aquarium. I thought 'chicken of the sea' was an expression; but apparently I found one.
Lina: Well, if you knew it was so bad why'd you let me serve it?
Richie: Because you were so excited about it! You went to the special store to buy the tumors!
Lina: Tubers!
Richie: You didn't even make any side dishes! There was nowhere to hide from the relentless punishing poultry!
Lina: Okay, okay, I get it! It was bad chicken.
Richie: It wasn't just bad, it was the Hitler of chickens! It was the enemy of all things... (Lina starts to smile) why are you smiling?
Lina: We're having our first fight.
Richie: Yeah, we are!
Lina: That's like a relationship milestone!
Richie: Is it?!
Lina: Totally! It's like even more than our first dinner party!
Richie: Ha, well, I guess. So what do we do now? Do we have to finish it?
Lina: Uh, ah, I think we should 'cause um, we kinda need to get through it to get to the make up sex.
They look at each other for a while and then they both start yelling simultaneously at each other.
Scene has Kat arriving back at her apartment and meeting up with Ethan who is leaving Palmer's apt.
Kat: God, you run every morning?
Ethan: Pretty much.
Kat: Why does that make me want to have a cigarette?
Ethan: So at least you're sneaking home with both boots this time.
Kat: No, I'm not sneaking. He stayed here last night. Just ran out to get us some coffee. And by 'ran' I mean I got into my car and drove two blocks.
Ethan: Oh, so you two are still...
Kat: Yeah. We're okay.
Ethan: That's good.
Kat: It really is. God, I like this guy so much.
Ethan: Yeah?
Kat: Yeah. It's crazy. When I'm with him, it's like, I don't know...
Ethan and Kat continue talking in the hallway as we see Benjamin looking through the stack of pictures Kat had taken of him.
Kat: It's like I can actually imagine..
Ethan: Morocco?
Ben: What the hell?
Scene has Nicole arriving at Duncan's house.
Nicole: Hey. You left your phone again.
Duncan: Thanks. Come on in?
Nicole: Okay. (She comes in.)
Duncan: So uh, things okay with you and Yonk?
Nicole: Yeah, I think we'll be okay. We had a long talk and agreed to start seeing a nutritionist. What happened last night can never, ever happen again.
Duncan: I understand.
Nicole: We're really trying to make it work this time.
Duncan: I get it.
Nicole: What do I smell?
Duncan: I was cooking up some bacon.
Nicole: (as she takes off her jacket) Alright, if we're gonna keep doing this, we gotta be super careful!
Duncan: (as Nicole runs to the kitchen) There's also lasagna.
Nicole: Oh, you know I'm gonna hit that!